WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that the majority of Internet users are already infected by a virus that causes them to believe, without question, every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their browser. The Gullibility Virus (as it has been labelled) apparently makes people believe and forward copies of obvious hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, e-mail viruses, taxes on Tweets, and a plethora of get-rich-quick schemes and horror stories.
"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman for the Institute said. "Most of them are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people are infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe everything that they read on the Internet. And the worst part of all, according to the researchers, is that they don't even know that they've been infected.
"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."
Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Utopia, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought it must be true." It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.
Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:
The willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking. The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others. A lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true.
"T. C." is an example of someone who has been infected for several years. He told one reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, "T. C." said he was going to stop reading his e-mails so that he would not become infected, too.
Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users should rush to their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the few remaining rational members of the Internet community.
You can innoculate yourself aginst this insidious virus by using reliable on-line sources, including:
Snopes Reference Pages at https://www.snopes.com
The Urban Legends Web Site at https://urbanlegendsonline.com
Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to everyone on their contact list. Remember, ignorance can be cured with knowledge, but stupid can't be fixed.
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